Community Stories: What we wish we knew before becoming a parent.
Parenting is truly wonderful, but that doesn’t mean it is without challenges. Recently, Meredith turned to her community with a some questions. “What's something you wish you knew before welcoming a baby into your life? What piece of advice did no one share with you?” The answers that poured in were incredible, running the gamut from postpartum tips to self kindness. We’ve compiled a few of our favorite responses here for you.
On adjustment:
“The amount of work, time, and energy that a newborn requires is like almost nothing else you’ve experienced before, and basically no one can fully prepare you for it. It’s a lot. You aren’t alone, and you are aren’t failing.”
“Prepare for the experience(s) you want, but let go of expectations or the idea that you’re in control.”
“I wish I knew that everything is temporary. Every phase passes, both good and bad. So many times I've felt like I've either completely ruined her or solved every problem. It's constantly moving and I still have to remind myself.”
On seeking support:
“Accept help!”
“It’s hard & it’s worth it. Let people help.”
On trusting your gut:
“Every time you have an intuition about something, along with a million “recommendations” from others. Your intuition wins. Every time.”
“Rest & let go of ANYTHING & EVERYTHING that doesn’t have to be done. Do what works for you and your family. It doesn’t matter how other people parent or what they think you should do - what works for one family won’t work for another- so just focus on survival, sleep, and family harmony.”
On the right tools:
“Onesies with zippers will save you significant frustration, while snaps (especially at 3 am) can cause extreme frustration.”
“Get the haakaa.”
On sleep:
“That some kids just don’t sleep. for a long time. i wish people hadn’t kept telling me she would sleep when she started crawling or walking or... and just said she will be okay and that we would all sleep again someday even if that day was several years away.”
“After a tough day/night—they’ll be different in the morning and so will you! The growing and learning curve is steep.”
On personal growth:
“Becoming a parent has made me a better person, and I did not expect that at all.”
“You don’t have to love every moment to love your kids.”
“It’s the best thing I have ever done. Not because it is easy, or sunshine and rainbows. But because kids challenge you and split your heart wide open in ways you would never thought possible. So, be ready for the ups and downs, but let the waves carry you.”
On “spoiling your baby”:
“The more attached they are in the early years the more independent they will be as they grow older.”
On not buying into the horror stories:
“Allow for the possibility it’s not a constant nightmare. There is delight, and joy, and heart-expanding, mind-blowing, horizon-broadening in parenting, too.”