Where to Turn When Babies Become Toddlers

A Parent Resource Guide in the Years After the Birth of Your Child

Birth is our bread and butter. It’s built within our business name, it’s our deepest passion professionally, and it’s where many families’ stories begin. However, it is also a very small glimpse into how those stories unfold over time. Feeling supported in the many years after the birth of your baby is just as important as before or during, and perhaps even more so. We like to say preparing for birth and leaving out postpartum and parenthood is like preparing for graduation but not a career; a wedding but not a marriage. As a teacher of parent education classes for five years, my favorite class to teach was for parents of 18-month-olds. So much is happening at this point for families. Between physical and socio-emotional development to behavior and sleep, this time can be truly challenging for a lot of parents. I recommend building your parenting toolbox and support circle early. I’ve outlined a few of my favorite places to turn for common toddlerhood road bumps.

Sleep

Let’s cut to the chase and touch on something that impacts every age, stage, and phase. Whether it’s transitioning from a crib to a big kid bed, dropping naps, or night waking, sleep was the most common topic brought up in the parent education classes I taught, no matter the age, birth order, or temperament of the children. Sleep is intertwined into every aspect of development. And so with all things development, I often turn to Zero to Three. Sleep is also a hot topic where parenting styles clash and judgments are thrown around left and right. Feel free to schedule a New Parent Support Session to find your core values as a family, and we’re happy to help support you in finding what works for your unique family dynamic. Lastly, if you feel your family is needing sleep support to help with a plan, we love Heavy Eyes, Happy Hearts. Sleep is important for the whole family, and as with all things parenting, we need to check ourselves first. Which leads to my next point.

Parental Well Being

Postpartum mental health and well being of the grown-ups in your family is a delicate balance all the way through toddlerhood. I would often bring in postpartum mental health professionals to speak in my classes through the preschool years, and would get the question of “haven’t we aged out of that worry?”. Short answer, no. Roundabout answer, every parent and child and family is different. The adjustment to parenthood is a long road, between the hormone fluctuations, sleep and feeding transitions, relationship changes, and so much more. It is clear there is no chronological line we can follow. We don’t just pass go and collect our way through. And it can be difficult to identify these feelings while we’re in the thick of it all. Jess Helle-Morrissey, a local therapist who focuses much of her work on supporting postpartum folks, put together a great list of common risk factors.  Worried about your partner? Pregnancy and Postpartum Support Minnesota is not only a great place to look for pregnant or birthing parents, but they also lay out a great list of support options for partners.

Behavior

This is the age of testing boundaries. We often hear these years referred to as “Terrible Two’s,” or “Threenagers”. Though both of these labels are a bit dramatic, it is an indication toward much of the emotional and social development that is happening at this stage for many families. Janet Lansbury and Daniel Siegel are by far my favorite parenting and behavior resources, time and time again. When we are juggling between developing our own emotional intelligence and that of our growing children, we’re sometimes left with b) yelling or c) quick fixes (plan a is always a cohesive, well-planned response with an immediate redirection of behavior, but b and c end up the default without the heavy lifting of unpacking our own baggage first). How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen is a great book, available on Audible (as are those by my good friends, Janet and Dan, above), and they even have a great app that is helpful for parents. The thing is, children’s brains are not physically capable to regulate, manipulate, or mediate. They are simply just doing the best they can, and we can help by joining them where they are at in that moment. Mind in the Making put together the most common behavior issues families are experiencing, with age-appropriate, evidence-based information AND a list of children’s books for each area of development, AND they’re available in multiple languages. The book is amazing, but this list is so much more tangible for the average parent today. Zero to Three is also a great resource for all things behavior and discipline.

Picky Eating

Did I mention testing boundaries? This challenge often comes with the fully-loaded baggage we bring in as caregivers, our own experiences with food now and when we were growing up (you know, the “clean plate club”-ing, body shaming, difference in nutritional accessibility, organic, GMOs, cage-free, gluten-free, absolute bananas complexity we get to bring to the table these days?!). Ellyn Satter has done an amazing job of helping parents swim through all of that complexity and find how we can set healthy boundaries with food and young children. Also did I mention Zero to Three?

Siblings

Not only can toddlerhood be a challenge, but to balance that with a newborn is a new superhero level of multitasking. I often meet one-on-one with families before the birth of this new sibling to talk about ways you can set up for success for all family members and encourage healthy sibling adjustment. The same authors who wrote How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, also wrote Siblings Without Rivalry. What a claim, amiright? But they lay out some groundwork for creating space for connection and attachment relationships between your big kid(s) and the newborn. Another good option for your Audible library. My behavior resources (above) all touch on this sibling dynamic as well.

Everything Else

I’m personally looking forward to catching up on the data-driven reads Cribsheet and The Informed Parent. When in doubt, I find that engaging children in activities that support executive function is what can drive home long-term success. Talk with your pediatrician about early brain development and appropriate expectations for this age. Talk to your partner about a more unified, consistent approach. What else has you feeling stuck in throes of toddlerhood? Let’s talk more.

Capture the Moment

You know what they say, “The days are long, but the years are short.” We want to help you capture the real, honest, and raw moments in parenthood. Book one of our Expecting Family, New Family, or Real Postpartum Photography Sessions. *Currently only offering outdoor, socially distanced sessions.