Postpartum Support: A Photo Collection + Reflection
Postpartum Reflections
This beloved family hired us to photograph the birth of their sweet Goldie. They also hired us for a week of postpartum doula support. As first time parents, they wanted to equip themselves with artful documentation and expert support.
This post is a compilation of Paisley’s reflections on those early postpartum days. There is so much power and safety when we share our stories. Our hope is for other postpartum parents feel connected, seen, and heard in their own experiences.
Paisley’s initial postpartum was heavy with unexpected health concerns and the ricochet impacts on her transition into parenthood. Paisley had a severe panic attack the day after giving birth.
“I abandoned my intuition, becoming hyper focused on advice and warnings from others. This led to severe health anxiety for myself. Feeding into my fear that something would happen to me and I would be unable to care for her.”
Initially, I provided some virtual support over text to help ground her and build trust in her intuition as Goldie’s mother. She openly communicated her anxieties with newborn/feeding concerns- which is so huge. No single parent inherently knows all there is to know about taking care of their baby. It’s a beautiful, yet (at least initially) uncertain process of learning your baby and learning about who you are as a parent.
“I was constantly rereading articles and obsessing over “what ifs” led me to disconnect from my instincts and stay stuck in anxiety. I was too in my head to tap into my heart or my gut instincts, which is an unnatural, more draining way to live. This hindered my ability to bond with her. I was constantly looking for anything wrong.
Tapping back into my intuition- and trusting my own ability to care for my daughter- was a pivotal turning point in my postpartum journey. I’ve found that slowly, with every new experience, I gain a confidence that is empowering. Motherhood has become this beautiful dance of trial and error, giving myself the space to feel deeply and “fail” without judgement. Trusting in her resiliency and my own.”
Paisley realized through this postpartum time how important balance is-
“pushing myself when I needed to and pausing when it felt right. Postpartum is not a one size fits all experience and any blanket statements or advice will fall short if you’re not in tune with yourself. Next postpartum, I’ll approach it with a better understanding of what fills my cup and what drains me.
When I was struggling, it was pointed out that a mother’s love looks like showing up and nurturing your babies, even through the battles you are fighting yourself.”
Don’t be afraid to ask for help and lean on your support system, so that you can show up how you want to for yourself and your family.
Thankfully, Paisley and John have an incredible support system.
“Without it, my healing process would have looked very different.
My best friend, without being asked, brought me food and slippers and helped me navigate dietary changes when I had to cut out dairy and soy.
My mom drove long distances to simply encourage me to shower and be a comforting presence.
The mental load was lightened by friends who prepared meals, brought gifts for my daughter, and helped me celebrate joyful moments like Easter. Others finding joy in these moments with my daughter and I helped me find my way.”
Reflecting on how integral her support system was to her healing, really highlights how important this is in general for new parents- and how it is so severely lacking systemically. She feels lucky to have been supported so well while also knowing many people don’t have close friends or family with the ability to show up for each other in this way. Our country has a long way to go to improve the ways we support families.
Paisley found that keeping track of small joyful moments (smiles, milestones, laughter) helped her shift her perspective during difficult days. She realized that joy and grief can coexist, and by letting herself feel the hard emotions, she created space for the joyful ones.
“Once I got the support I needed, I was able to fully embrace and celebrate the beauty of this fleeting time.
Common does not equal normal. Although postpartum mental health challenges are common, it is not something you have to endure.”
When I came over to take these photos, the energy in their house felt so much lighter. I could feel all the confidence and clarity that had been built over the previous months. It brought me an immense feeling of relief and joy to celebrate with them all that they’ve experienced, overcome, and transitioned into this new state of being.
XO, Britt + the rest of the Gather Birth Team
